Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
