Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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