So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize