I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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