i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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