If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
