I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
