For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
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