Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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