I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
