so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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