your parents love me but you hate me
Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
