the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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