I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Randomize
