He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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