I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Randomize
