she was so not down for the gang bang
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
