I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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