What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
