3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
