I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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