So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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