Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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