Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
