You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
