I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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