i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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