Sponge bath it is.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
