I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
