Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
