That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
