I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
