i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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