I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
