Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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