Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
