super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
