Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
