I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
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