After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
