wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
