I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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