I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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