i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize