I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
they call him Oral-B. enough said
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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