I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
