You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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