If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
