I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
