i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
