you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
