Cold hands, warm shart.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize