I feel like I'm in dance class right now
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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