that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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