So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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