I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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