I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Randomize
