Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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