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i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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