I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
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She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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