weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
