Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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