turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
