I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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